Filibuster Cartoons
From the ugly concrete cityscapes, to the massive crowds, to the constant noise and visual pollution, to the cold and inhospitable nature of the people, to the technological backwardness (yes, you read that right. They may have computers in the toilets, but they’re also surprisingly way behind on a lot of stuff I would consider a bit more important. Double-glazed windows, for instance), there is a lot to dislike about this country. I was originally planning to write a lengthy note about everything I specifically hate about Japan (I’m at the “find fault with everything” phase of my culture shock, which is supposedly the last phase before integration — or so they say) but I figured that would be too much of a downer for both myself and others.
Well, maybe not others. In general I’ve found that many friends refuse to take my criticisms of Japan seriously. Obviously I’m wrong, and there must be clearly something wrong with ME, since everyone knows Japan is a wonderful happy-time smile factory where everything is perfect and modern and efficient and clean and problem-free.
But anyway…
I bought the most amazing thing the other day, a book of Japanese holiday clip art! You know, one of those fat books with a CD glued to the last page, so you can add a splash of trite cartoon artwork to your garage sale posters and things. I truly believe you can get a window into a nation’s soul through its clip art, especially when it comes to holidays. Thus, just as a North American holiday clip art book would be full of pictures of vampires and pots of gold and babies in top hats and other cherished elements of our culture, so too is the Japanese book full of all sorts of random nonsense revealing keen insight into the deranged world of Japanese traditions.
So let’s look at some of them.
I actually lied when I said I bought “a” book. I really bought three books, one for each season. It now suddenly occurs to me that there are actually four seasons, and I forgot to buy “summer.” Now I have a weekend project. But regardless, WINTER:
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The Japanese are fond of something I can only describe as “pun days.” Which is to say, days in which saying the number of the date aloud sounds like something else. So for example, saying “February twenty-second” in Japanese apparently sounds like the word “cat,” so that day is colloquially known as “the cat day.” And “February ninth” sounds like “clothes,” so that’s the “clothes day.” The numbers for January tenth (1/10) are also the same as the three-digit emergency police number (1-1-0). So that’s “police day.” I guess we could do that back home, too. Like, we could have 9-1-1 day on… oh wait, nevermind.
Here we see Japanese dad (naturally depicted as a white man) unveiling the “Christmas cake” on December 25. The Japanese believe this is a legitimate Christmas custom, and the west has been too polite to tell them otherwise.
Apparently a sexy Santa Claus is also important enough to the Japanese understanding of Christmas to be included in the Christmas clip-art folder.
Remember this guy? He’s the little rice dough tower thing that serves as a sort of Japanese Christmas tree for their big New Year’s festivities. On January 11 you chop up the thing (or apparently crack its stale form with a hammer, judging from these clip art pictures) then fry and eat the remains with your family. I tried doing this myself with mine. It’s quite disgusting. After you put it in the frying pan for a few minutes the rice dough has the consistency of glue, and about as much flavor.
Cleaning your entire house from top-to-bottom is another cherished New Year’s tradition in Japan. I assume it started because the Japanese were uncomfortable with the idea of a day in which no soul-crushing labor was required of them.
On the winter solstice, it is tradition for Japanese people to have a calming soak in a hot tub, or outdoor hot spring, with these special fruits in the water that release a natural relaxant. Then you eat boiled pumpkin for dinner, lest you start enjoying yourself too much.
Here’s a graphic for “Coming of Age Day,” which I previously blogged about. I was actually incorrect in my earlier post; it’s not all teenage girls who get dolled up and prance around the malls on the second Monday in January, just the 20-year-olds. Apparently it’s popular to drink and smoke a lot on this day too, as part of the celebration of your legal adulthood.
Here’s the very Oedipal throw-beans-at-your-father-who-personifies-evil-incarnate day.
And here’s Valentines’ Day. Something got lost in the translation, because over here girls give chocolates and flowers to BOYS.
This is an odd one. Apparently on this day you thank your needles for all their hard work by giving them a little rest in a piece of tofu. Contrary to what the clip-art suggests, I was told only old people actually do this.
… and I’m only scratching the surface! Every folder of the winter CD ROM alone is like a trip into some sort of magical, non-christian wonderworld. I could make an entire website about this stuff… maybe I will.
Stay tuned either way! Spring is just around the corner!
